Tuesday, March 20, 2007

The Thrill of Mondays

Wrote this for class yesterday and small group enjoyed it, so I thought I'd post.

My Day So Far


3:46 a.m. Awoke to Sam screaming

7:28 a.m. Awoke to Berenstain Bears on PBS, while simultaneously being smothered by two children. Sam gave a happy “Hi!” over and over until I answered him.
7:32 a.m. Rearranged children on bed, put head under covers and tried to go back to sleep.
8:00 a.m. Awoke to Curious George’s mayhem. Grudgingly decided to get up and start the day.
8:03 a.m. Completed 3 Sun Salutations to get my blood flowing.
8:07 a.m. Got stuck in a forward fold.
8:10 a.m. collected two sets of jeans, undershirts, shirts, and socks, one pair of Tinkerbell underwear, and a diaper. Passed them to husband on way to shower.
8:11 a.m. Stepped on scale. Regretted attendance at two pizza birthday parties this weekend.

LEARNING: Never weigh self after ingesting mass quantities of pizza and cake.


8:20 Emerged from shower to fits of giggles. Syd dressed, Sam in diaper and undershirt, happily cooing “Shoe! Shoe!” Husband no where to be seen.
8:30 Finished dressing self, including shoes. Moved to bed to finish dressing Sam. Nagged children to turn off TV and go downstairs for breakfast.
8:35 Distributed breakfast, packed lunch for three, put double stroller in car, got canopy for double stroller from basement, checked diaper bag for wallet, cell phone and keys.
9:10 Put children in van.
9:15 Filled up tank. Bought 99 cent cup of disgusting coffee from gas station.
9:23 Started drive to Museum Center.

LEARNING: Never buy coffee alternative at gas station.


10:04 Arrived at Museum Center. Pulled out Dayton Museum membership card. Was told parking was still $4.50. No credit cards.
10:05 Opened wallet to find $2. No, $2.50. Promised to bring lot attendant other $2.
10:07 Gestured frantically to friend waiting for us in parking lot for additional $2.
10:08 Dug in map pocket and found additional $2 in change.

LEARNING: Never go to Museum Center without cash.


10:15 Entered Museum Center. Was smugly told Dayton membership is not reciprocated. Resisted urge to blow a raspberry in clerk’s face.
10:20 Entered Children’s Museum on friend’s membership.
10:22-11:30 Chased, climbed, pretended and played. Watched Sam go down same slide 50 times. In a row. Shouting “wee!” the entire time.

LEARNING: Pay for upgraded museum membership at the beginning of the season.


11:35 Distributed lunches.
11:37-12:15 Was nagged for chocolate “special treat” by child. While munching carrots, pretzels, yogurt, cheese and pear.
12:20 Attempted to enter History Museum to see trains.
12:21 Was told Dayton membership is only reciprocal with Natural History Museum.
12:25 Exited Museum Center with older child whining for chocolate special treat and for trains.

LEARNING: Always pack chocolate.
LEARNING: Museum reciprocity bites the weenie.


12:45 Sam fell asleep in car.
12:57 Arrived at allergist for shots. Woke Sam, hauled both kids across parking lot, upstairs and into waiting room.
1:00 Watched Syd chase Sam around waiting room, narrowly avoiding another client’s feet.
1:05 Shots administered. Ouch.
1:15 Hauled children through rain back to van.
1:25 “Sold” double stroller with broken canopy to friend expecting second child. Friend said she will pay me later.
1:35 Left friend’s house.

LEARNING: Rain sucks.
LEARNING: Avoid taking children to allergist, particularly when raining.


1:45 Both children fell asleep.
2:02 Pulled off highway and headed home.
2:03 Fought mind-numbing combination of rain and fatigue.
2:04 Nodded.
2:05 Nodded. Reminded self that home and a rest were coming.
2:10 Pulled into intersection to turn left on arrow. Arrow disappeared while in intersection. Started to turn. Gold SUV came towards me. Tapped bumpers.
2:11 Swore, inwardly and outwardly. Fortunately, children still sleeping.
2:12 Reached for cell.
2:13 Teen driver pulled alongside and said “There’s no damage to your car. Is there damage to mine?”
2:14 Craned neck out of window to assess.
2:15 Opted to pull into gas station to check.
2:17 Teen assessed car. “There’s hardly no damage to my car. And I’m late to get a bridesmaid’s dress. And it was slippery. So don’t worry about it, okay?”
2:18 Teen hugged me.
2:19 Set off for home.

LEARNING: Fender benders in small towns are better than fender benders in big cities.


2:25 Arrived home.
2:26 Brought in mail. Ate piece of chocolate cake before getting children out of car.
2:27 Simultaneously regretted and enjoyed chocolate cake experience.
2:28 Brought bag, lunchbag, coats and children in from car.
2:30 Turned on DVD for Sydney.
2:32 Collapsed on couch.

LEARNING: Chocolate cake and buttercream icing can cure almost anything.


--awj
19 march 07

1 comment:

trAcy said...

i don't know how you recreated all those times!

funny. i have seen that style in lots of humor books. it worked!

reminds me not to have children to cart about.

: )

and the only thing non-childers will note with a cringe is the way syd ran around the doctor's office. of course, in real life, it usually doesn't matter.

worse was sitting two feet away friday at a restaurant from a family. . .youngish dad, son of about four years old, a few women, one probably the wife, maybe others friends. . .anyway. . .he was a total dick to the kid, who barely did anything. the threats, the illogic of what is "expected," the way the kid literally cringed later when the dad switched places with one of the women to sit next to the kid. : (