sleepless but not in seattle

it's way way waaaaaayyyyy past my bedtime and i've crossed the realm of tired to exhausted to too revved up to sleep. so much to do, think about, see... sigh. facebook flashes long-forgotten faces in front of me, and i begin to wonder--what happened to chris lucas who moved into the district in 7th grade and was in my science class? where are all the really smart people working? what are they doing? what about the ones who were off-kilter and not concerned about it? are they still off-kilter and still not caring? are the fat ones skinny and the skinny ones fat? who is married? divorced? what happened to my crushes from high school? college? the hot guy from the pool that one summer?

and what about my camp counselors? teachers? older friends of friends? younger siblings of people long ago forgotten or off the radar? did chris become a writer? a teacher? an engineer? is josh still out west smoking pot and driving a delivery truck (as was rumored at our 10 year hs reunion)? is julie in politics? what did maude decided to do with her life? what about weighlifter matt? and footballer matt? and techie rebecca who was "bests" with gina? what are they doing? did vanessa make it big time on the stage or screen like jon? did dan ever stop looking like dudley do-right? who moved to chicago? new york? l.a.? minnesota? are they happy there?

and do they ever wonder about me... what i've become, who i've become, what i do to fill my days? or does my face never cross their minds, forgotten in the abyss of memory that for some reason grows sharper still every day in my own person.

the memory of frozen turkey slices, aluminum covered burger king crowns, musty acorn books, white pillars and green letters... all sharper in focus than they were yesterday.

does wendy still make puppy chow and keep it on top of her fridge? what did julie do with her peace studies major? did elena ever move back to the states? is jennifer happy with lily and natalie?

still tired, still awake. still remembering....