Tuesday, December 16, 2008

She would have been 63

Next Tuesday... in one week... my mother would have been 63. It is hard for me to imagine her at that age, since she is eternally frozen at 44. She was very gray in her 40s, so I can only imagine that she would have gone completely gray by then. Would she still be coloring her hair? Her mother did until the day she died, so I can only imagine.

Although she had some age lines, as we all seem to accumulate across the 30s, she wasn't overly marked. She had beautiful Mediterranean skin. Would it have been wrinkled? So hard to imagine.

I was only reminded (not that I will ever truly forget) because an engine that reminds me of birthdays and anniversaries sent me an email, reminding me of both my brother and my uncle's birthdays (all on Dec. 23--she was a twin). Seeing the number "Your Uncle will be 63 on Dec. 23" was a bit of a shock. I know that it's been almost 19 years, but the idea of my mother at 63 isn't something I've pondered before.

Sixty-three. I wonder if she would have accomplished all that she wanted to, or if there would have still been dreams and goals unfulfilled. I wonder if she would still want to ski. I'm sure she still would have loved golfing, and playing with my kids.

She would have been 63.

3 comments:

Katie said...

This made me cry a little :(

Applecart T. said...

me 2

Deb said...

Being in the know about this just a tad, I don't think you would have seen her as much as you saw me,(post retirement) but I'm sure she would have dyed her hair, and only had a few wrinkles, from smiling at (and worrying about) you, your brother, and her lovely grandchildren;o)

I also think that she would still be trying to accomplish things, and there would have been accomplishments that she had tamed. Some goals and dreams would have been met, and new ones would have taken their place as the older ones were tackled. I know that she would have loved playing with your kids,and visiting you. I'm not so sure about the golf and the skiing. I think there might have been lots of relaxing poolside with friends!

I hope you don't mind me posting in on this one. I have only a slight understanding of your feelings, but wanted to have someone who loves you, give you support at what must be a very difficult time for you and your brother.