My Little Man(servant)

Scene: Backseat of the car. Random squabbling ensues between six and eight-year old members of family.

Syd: Mom, he's annoying me. Make him stop!

Sam: I'm not doing anything.

Syd: Yes, you are! Stop it!

Sam: No, I'm not!

Me (from the front seat): You know, you two rarely fight. I don't know what's going on back there, but work it out. You usually get along so well. You're lucky that you don't fight so much.

Syd: But he's annoying!

Me: That's what little brothers do! They're annoying! That's their job! I speak from experience. I could tell you stories.... But I won't. I'll spare you.

Sam: Tell! Tell!

Me: No way. I don't want to give you any ammunition. I'll tell Sydney later. But Uncle Jeremy was the King of Annoying Little Brothers. So Sydney, I feel your pain. But this is life. So work it out.

(beat)

Sam: Well, if Uncle Jeremy was the King, I want to be the Butler.

Me: The what?

Sam: The Butler! The Butler of Annoying Little Brothers!