Saturday, September 30, 2006

little whinging, ohio

i am in that obnoxious phase of sick that nothing feels right, tastes good or feels good, but i crave to be comforted. like i want comfort food like chicken noodle soup or macaroni and cheese or other carb-based, non-plant foods, but when i go to eat them, they taste like unrefined metal. and i want to sleep, but my body is too achy to relax and i can't get comfortable. and i want to do stuff--like walk or run or read or crochet or knit or write or anything to stop feeling like a blob--but i'm just too damned tired. i don't have a fever; i'm just tired and achy and nasal and coughing occasionally and i have recurring headaches--probably from not eating what i should be eating.

everyone in the house is sleepy. sam just went down for his third nap of the day. syd is napping on the couch, having fallen asleep in front of the disney channel. marc tried to lie down unsuccessfully. my dad says it's the constant weather change that makes us all sick, but i would attribute this illness to a cold marc gave me that i really didn't want and tried hard not to get. no mind, no matter. whatever. i'm just tired and bored, and cranky and hot, and what is up with hot flashes at 33? please don't tell me it's early menopause cause i just can't handle that. but the hormones seem to be all whacked out, ever since i had sam. i should probably talk to someone about it, like my ob/gyn, but my next appointment isn't for a couple of months yet.

i hate the pressure of having to keep the house clean, or worry about keeping the house clean. three showings this week, and no offers. no second showings, no decent feedback--only that the house is "too small." it's 2000 square feet, which is average for this neighborhood--on the large side of average, but what do i know? the realtor wants to have an open house next sunday. oh joy. can't wait. cleaning and cleaning for three people to walk through and decide it's not for them.

i took some sudafed and it's not helping.

it was a rough week all around, with a late afternoon trip to dayton to cart syd to and from ballet, and feed her and sam and get them to bed while marc had a board meeting. that set me off, and i've never been the same. i think i'm feeling the physical effects of stress (or, as cymbalta commercials would tell me, the physical and emotional effects of depression. whatever).

i'm meant to be atoning, and meant to be finished by monday, when i will fast to empty my earthly vessel of sin and be cleansed and hopefully inscribed into the book of life for yet another year. so if i've wronged any of you in cyber space and i haven't apologized, i'm sorry. please forgive me my transgression and i'll try not to do it again.

sam just woke up and he's upset. only one of us can be upset at the same time, so i'll have to let my major annoyance with the physical world go for the moment and see to his needs.

happy weekend, everyone. i'll try to be more positive next time.

1 comment:

trAcy said...

god rewrites the book every year?

(i hadn't seen this before the call. . .wow, woe is you ((no sarcasm intended; how does one remove the sarcasm from e-text? i find frequently that i am "offending" people and not meaning to; my sense of writing is dry humor, but my sense of talking is bubbly and smiley, so it's just hard))).


i'm coughing today. it lingers!

my 42-43 friend said that she stopped getting so sick all the time in her later 30s. great.

and doctors never get sick. and everyone has been living with "changing weather" forever. what is it about inconsistent temps that weakens the immune system anyway?