Monday, November 21, 2005

Spanking the monsters?

Something to consider....

i was going to post some sort of intelligent argument about this one, but the point seems to have escaped me now. that's the problem with holidays. they wipe you clean of brain cells. and my brain cells were unfortunately not lost because of overindulgence of the alcoholic sort.

suffice it to say that marc and i do not agree on the spanking issue. he is for and i am against unless it is a gut reaction to a very dangerous situation avoided (e.g. running out in the road in front of a car). it is a sore subject between us. syd hasn't yet picked up on the fact that we don't agree; she has, however, twigged that if one of us says no, she might have a chance if she asks the other. fortunately for us, we usually check in with "what did mommy (daddy) say?" you can just see the "rats, foiled again," on her face.

so syd has come out with some hysterical one liners in the past week or two. i shall record them here for posterity's sake. they might not be funny to anyone but me, but hell, with the number of hits i seem to be getting, it just doesn't matter.

1. (at 6 a.m. with an ear infection in a whiny voice) "Mommy! Daddy! My ear hurts! I need some affection."

2. (while watching the Bengals game with me, in response to "that stinks!" from me) "What stinks? My diaper?"

3. (again while watching said Bengals game, after hearing me say it once) "get it, get it, get it, get it, awww shoot!" every time the Bengals were in motion.

4. (in response to my calling her a "pipsqueak") "I am NOT a pipper-squeak."

5. (Upon the suggestion of amusing herself with lacing cards) "Yes, I want to do some needle-ing."

6. "This is my brother, Poopy Shmuelson." (Long, long story having to do with Sam's Hebrew name.)

These almost make it all worth it.


lucy said...

Hey there! I read your blog :) I have you on my bloglines page now. There was plenty drinking at Thanksgiving... just not by us! Hope you have recovered from the Fam and your house guests. We are sort of enjoying being home sans dog :) Lets us be lazier than we already are!

trAcy said...

you're back! good deal. i think those are funny lines. kids are honest and direct and darn funny. i can't believe syd's trying to split the parental forces already.

spanking is a complex one. lately, at antiviolence (murders must stop) meetings in KC, people, older, african amercian, with grown kids, have been advocating for "whuppings" as part of a well-rounded, "it worked for us" mentality. that the problem with modern kids is that they don't get any discipline, etc.

i never was hit and i came out fine. mom threatened some violence, which i now see is a bit weird, too, violence is violence, but kids also push and push and push their emotions all over the place. there were corner moments, a precursor to the time-out's of today. mostly, i just hated seeing her get disappointed and mad.

when i stole a daffodil from a neighbor's yard without thinking about how it might be stealing, i was only talked to and had to apologize and then just felt so bad i sat in my room for the rest of the afternoon. it was complex, i was spontaneously taking the flower for a gift for my mom. duh.

what hurts most about a spanking anyway? the fact that mom or dad is pissed and "doesn't love you anymore."

but for things like just screwing up, making mistakes or spacing out on "what did mom tell you about such and such," i don't think spankings are a good idea. my mark was a kid who got spanked and he claims it worked on him. still, i don't view kids as automatcially demonic things that can only respond to physical punishment, and i wish his parents had taken another route. i think he might have come out a bit differently.

i think that once you start the punishment system of spanking, you get stuck with something awkward and obviously violent.

my asian friend (also male) also remembers getting spanked, but his mom is so loving and indulgent that i think culturally it must have been a bit different. it's been described as just a swat, something that breaks the attention but not the ass or spirit.

i just hate to admit to the inconsistency that "it's sometimes ok to hit people."

most people do a horrible, controlling and scary job of managing their children's discipline.

i just don't see myself being able to spank a kid. it's too close to losing control.


Legion said...

Number 6 is DEFINITELY my favorite.

By the way, I left a comment to your Altar Boys post WEEKS ago and never saw it appear. What's up wif' dat?

And as to the 'number of hits' I often feel like that with my blog. But then again I rarely say anything even remotely intersting.